As a parent, life seems to just fly by. Watching my children the past year (both teens now), has actually changed my mindset completely. I realise how much of it I have missed out, as life seems to nudge us with the humungous to-do lists and tears us in all directions with the social and work-life balance. We are so focused on making achievers out of them, that we forget about them being our children. Every year end I have a list of reflections about the year that has been and a list of resolutions for the year that will be.
This year I just have one resolution – to relax!
Relax – firstly as a parent and then as a being.
I don’t want to watch life from a roller coaster seat with a seat belt on! I want to watch the life from a bench in the park, with sunset view, and a fun yet relaxed atmosphere, enjoying myself every bit of it, the little things and the bigger picture. Here are a few ways that I listed to do this for the new years.
Stop Multi-tasking! Mono-tasking is the new superpower!
Does this one shock you?
Morning scenes like this : Prepping for breakfast, checking emails, looking through the morning WhatsApp messages, trying to dress up for work while mentally sorting out a to-do list for yourself, also at the same time sorting the evening plans with the better half, having conversations with the kids about upcoming tests and there the phone chimes again with a message from a colleague at work and you have to let him know you are running late by five minutes, and in this chaos you remember to slip in a cube of cheese for the younger one in the tiffin and there one email pops up on the screen, while something spills onto the table and you are in a hurry to clean it out, and reply to the email…now your five-minute delay has turned into ten… there is still a chaotic conversation at the table and you panic when you look at the watch !! now late by 15!
One thing at a time.
Get a head start to the day 15 minutes before the kids are up, so you have the bit of me time to clear your thoughts out. While talking to them, give them your full attention, do not make them fight for it with your screen. Spend some quality time with your better half. Anything that is urgent and needs your attention can be conveyed through a quick phone call. Having an organized planner makes it easier to schedule the days by jotting down details. Go through the planner the previous night. The key to slow down the pace is to be organised through a bit of prep work beforehand.
Mindfulness:
Like we follow the trends for clean eating, healthy foods, have we ever wondered how can we do the same for our brain? How do we feed our mind in the same way? Mindfulness is the key. Quickly at the dinner table go through three things the kids and you are grateful for. Be more connected, more engaged in the now, in the present. Like we exercise for our body, we need to meditate for the mind to stay positive and healthy.
Unplug together as a family:
Resolve to unplug at a particular time work-life as a family together. If you do have more tasks at hand afterwards, carry on. But do this so you can all look away from the screen and take the time to do things as a family. If you have younger kids, iPads, computers, music devices should all be stored away at this time. Most often, you will find that it is much easier for kids or young adults to stick to this routine. It will be the adults who have the sense of emergency as they see the mobile phone buzz with a notification.
Be the first, as a parent to begin this and let the kids observe and they will join you organically instead of forcing the thought into their system.
Learn to enjoy the perfectly imperfect elements and situations that life brings our way:
Right from our photographs, to Instagram feeds, the way we dress or the kids dress, to the schedule they keep, the friends they hang out with. We want everything to be perfect, right down to our nails. Have we realised that the consequences of our stressed life coaster from this need for perfection? This year stop and enjoy the imperfections, and notice how much of the stress will just melt away from not just your life and but from you as well. Learn to enjoy the process and not just hurry through it.
Wishing you’a great 2020!
KSP Team
Mansi Zaveri
Shrima Rai
