When I changed gears from being a full-time working mom to that of a stay-at-home mom, I was excited and enthusiastic about meeting other moms and catching up on the 2.5 years I had missed in their company. I was literally on mission “Play Date”! You know how it is to be like a child deprived of chocolate? I felt something similar and in my mind this was probably the only reason that I quit.
A week into the madness and I realised it’s not me. I can’t be available to chat on BBM and whatsapp all the time and be a slave to never-ending notifications. Parenting can be overwhelming because, it’s a little unorganised out there no matter how organised you are. You need to fulfill demands of school-going kids, classes at home, friends, birthdays, time schedules gone haywire and so much more. I felt like my brains were not wired for the hectic schedule parenting needs to adhere to.
After three weeks into it, I was suffocated. I was involved in conversations that made me feel regressive and confined. The problem was it consumed so much of me, that I had lost that part of myself which had helped be a mommy with a smile. That’s when I realisedÂ that a little time-out of parenting is much needed each day.Â I didnâ€™t want to be a victim of the â€˜I Will Be Left Outâ€™ (IWBLO) syndrome. Here is how you can save yourself:
1. Don’t be a notification slave
Don’t look at every notification that comes by while you are in the midst of things or taking time out. Unless it’s a request that needs urgent attention, or you are awaiting critical information to work on something. Give yourself that time away from your phone.
Â 2. Get a routine for yourself
Make a routine that nearly coincides with your kids’ and stick by it. For instance, think of daily chores like exercise, work, meetings, read, cook, clean and work around them to match your kids’ schedule. Unless you can accommodate the routine somewhere in the day for a mommy duty, donâ€™t commit to extra mommy meetings. Donâ€™t try and break that ever, as you will feel a bit out of purpose.
3. Enjoy the small breaks between the chores
My favourite time of the day is when I drop my daughter to the school’s bus stop, and drive back alone with the younger one strapped in her car seat. Those five minutes just seem so precious with my music, my thoughts and enjoying the lovely weather. That joy of ‘wow she’s being looked after, so I can have sometime off’ is a such de-stresser. Make sure you spend 30 mins for your hobby/interest without your phone.
4. Don’t push yourself
You needn’t attend every play date and evening out, thinking about how you and your kid will miss out if you don’t go. If it’s convenient do go, but if it’s a stretch and you are not upto it then don’t push yourself. Kids love having sometime to themselves too, just playing by themselves. Most moms become a victim to this syndrome and in attempting to do it all. they kind of rush through everything.
5. Stay connected
The first things we do as moms is give up on world news and become indifferent to things around us. Make sure you read your papers, find time to browse your favourite websites to stay updated. Remember that episode fromÂ FriendsÂ when Joey buys encyclopaedias because he doesn’t know anything about world news, and has that lost expression. I felt like that when I was too involved with numerous mommy meetings and had given up on every other information.
6. Find your happy company
It’s very important to stay away from people and situations that drown you into parenting/motherhood and make the rest of the world insignificant. Find someone who will enrich you in even those 15 mins that you may spend with them. He or she strongly believes that you are doing just as good as them. Whenever the thought of IWBLO crosses your mind, just give it a few minutes and see will it value add to your child and make her happy, will it value add to you and make you happy. If the answer is yes, then thatâ€™s absolutely okay.
Â This article was written by Mansi Zaveri and published first on iDiva.com