Indra Nooyi’s latest interview with the Atlantic has caused quite a stir and finally I felt like a successful working mom finally confessed the truth of work life balance and how women can’t have it all. It kind of complements the debate earlier between Allison & Helena MorrisseyÂ
I am not a big fan of the debates on working versus stay at home moms and here are reasons why. So that’s why I loved Indra Nooyi’s responses and here are 7 things that resonated most with me:
1. When her mom tells her that when you are home you are a woman who has to play multiple roles and ‘nobody else can play that’. So true. It’s not something I want to refute, fight or bicker about but I also know that what she said is true. Nobody can do what I can. Women are just made that way
2. You can’t do it without help and youy need to choose who you ask for help. Her husband and she co – opted their families and trust me that also comes with its own sense of responsibility.
3. Her honesty where she admits that it takes a lot of hard work an meticulous planning to be decent parents. I love the decent parents bit because she does not aspire to be a super cool mom or a great one but just a decent one.
4. Every mom’s guilt: As working moms we always get to hear a lot of names from our daughters and the crown of you are not a great mom is the one we get awarded most generously. So when she says, “But if you ask our daughters, I’m not sure they will say that I’ve been a good mom. I’m not sure.”
5. Building on Coping mechanisms: The amount of guilt our kids, society and fellow moms make us go through is what sometimes or actually more often than not is what bothers us. So I like her thought of being factual, dealing with it and keeping the guilt at bay so she can deal with it.
6. This one is my Absolute favourite and I don’t think anyone has articulated this better than her. “That the biological clock and the career clock are in total conflict with each other. Total, complete conflict. When you have to have kids you have to build your career. Just as you’re rising to middle management your kids need you because they’re teenagers, they need you for the teenage years. “
7. Screwing up and prioritizing the man: Lastly when she says you can’t have it all. “Being a CEO for a company is three full time jobs rolled into one. How can you do justice to all? You can’t.” And then admitting that oneÂ relationshipÂ which I kind of suffers the most is that with the husbandÂ who as always is right at the bottom of the list. Indra says “Â The person who hurts the most through this whole thing is your spouse”.Â