Are Our Kids Safe Even While They Sit At Home?

I woke yesterday and reached for my phone like I normally do. The first thing to pop up on my phone was a slew of messages about teenaged schoolboys in Delhi who had formed a group on Instagram and had casually talked about rape, sexual objectification and were shaming schoolgirls.

With a teenager daughter at home and a son whose almost a tween himself, it set off alarm bells in my head.

We in India commonly believed that cyberbullying is a phenomenon limited to the West. Maybe because we think our children are not online as much, or that they do not understand the true meaning of cyberbullying. But with the lockdown and schools closed and kids being online all the time now to attend classes has changed things. If it's not to attend classes for 5 hours a day, its to turn in an assignment, play a game or just catch up with friends – they are online all the time and this applied to all age groups. 

What was shared were screenshots of an Instagram group chat of young Delhi boys called “boys locker room” was recently busted for glorifying gangrape. Teenaged boys have reportedly been sharing pictures of girls, some as young as 15-16, objectifying them, morphing their pictures, using abusive language and talking about ‘gang-raping girls’. 

I was honestly shocked to hear the things these kids were talking about. We may still think of them as kids and they are. Unfortunately in their minds, they feel they are teenagers and think its “cool” and “macho” to talk about a girl in derogatory terms.

As a parent of a girl and a boy , what seems to be missing here is the basic sense of kindness and respect for everyone. How a  person treats a girl, be it in the house, in school or on the streets, depends on his mindset and that comes from one's home and surroundings. The onus is on us.

What Should We Do?

• Talk to your kids every single day. Teach them that basic human traits like respect and kindness are what makes a person. Not what they post on social media.
• Boys need to be taught that respecting and protecting a girl's modesty is of utmost importance.
• Girls need to know that they don't need to put themselves out there to impress the boys or your peers. 
• Explain to your kids that hormonal changes are happening and attractions are normal. But there is a time, place and age for everything. Think before you act or say something that will offend and hurt someone. 
• Teach your kids to have a strong sense of self-worth. So they understand that what you are you are and what anyone says is not going to subtract or add to it. If they understand this they won't need to look for validation on that elsewhere and amongst their peers.
• Change your habits and theirs – Enjoy a daily family dinner without smartphones or distracting technology.

Listen to this podcast and share what your thoughts on this changing world and how are you going to make it a better place for your children about: Failure, Peer pressure and what you have is good enough