We hear all about the maternal instinct that takes over the moment you set your eyes on your little bundle of joy. But for some, that is not the first reaction. Is that wrong? No! It's being human!
At Kidsstoppress, we have discussed parenting journeys time and again – how we have our own struggles and how we overcome them. The best part is, that there is no one solution or answer to those questions. Each story has its own struggles and victories and it is important to share these stories with the world. And that's what inspired us to start this series, in association with Merries India where we #KeepItReal by connecting with moms and bring you their birthing stories and how they stayed strong through their journey.
As we have mentioned earlier, these stories are to spread the #mybirthingstory experiences to help others who have gone through a similar journey and tell them they are not alone. Devangi Pachchigar was supposed to have triplets. Her story started with a miscarriage of one and then giving birth to twins at 6 months. Her battle with her body, the birth of her babies and her emotions is real and heart-breaking.
Read Devangi Pachchigar's Story
When I first saw my babies, I couldn't believe they were mine. They looked like mice and weighed 500g. I did not know how to overcome this feeling of 'why me?'. Love at first sight wasn't possible for me. Is that horrible? Just cause you're a mother, are those instincts innate?
Usually, the bond with your child is created when you hold them right after birth. My journey started with a C-section then saw them 5 days later. I fainted. What I saw weren't babies. They were aliens. I couldn't accept the truth but it came naturally to my husband and family. Positivity and support was something I couldn't offer. I was happy with one child. I wanted to enjoy her childhood.
When I found out I had triplets, everyone was overjoyed but I was worried. 'Would I be a good mother to my kids?'. Unfortunately, my body couldn’t support all three and I miscarried one.
I spent 90% of the time hospitalized and puked 25-30 times a day. I gave birth at 6 months. I didn't know if they'd survive because there was only a 20% chance. I was depressed whilst they spent 4 months in the NICU. The twins were fed through their nose and mouth. I did not have the strength to see this. I had a million questions like would they be able to walk? Talk? See?
I didn't meet them until we took them home and now they were 900g. Does it end here? During the Surat floods, I had to move to Jharkhand. They were a spectacle at the airport. Kolkata to Jharkhand was a trek that I can never forget as the Naxalites tried to loot us. The police escorted us home. All my fears and frustrations poured out of when I got home. 'Why did I conceive?' played through my mind.
Even through all the complications that occurred from conception, my biggest regret was not being there for my daughter when she needed me. Mothers are meant to be strong but we are human. It's okay to take a break. I could only do this because of the unconditional support from my in-laws and husband.
Rati Ramadas Girish
Tarun Sakhrani
Vaishnavi Venkatraman
Mansi Zaveri
