Over coffee and cake, a few days ago, my friend and I were exchanging baby stories. We spoke about milestones they had reached, how they were responding with smiles and giggles every time they saw our face, latest round of vaccinations, and even what schools we were thinking of in the future. Out of the blue, my friend asked me, when I had gone on a date last? Was it a few days ago, last weekend or before my two boys came along. It was not a few days ago. It was not last weekend. It was before my boys – aged 4 and four months came along. I admit, it has been tough getting through days without collapsing at the end of the night on most days. Juggling work, babies, and keeping house just doesn’t leave much time to think about interesting things to say to the husband. When you have children below the age of five, parenting takes away most of your time and you get no time for your significant other. Daily activities, car pool schedules, classes, homework all get in the way and you forget the last time you hung out as a couple. It is time to fix that. Couples, whether they have a child, children, busy schedules, or early morning car pool duties need to spend some time alone and here is how to do it.
- Plan small: Couple time or going out on a date with your spouse doesn’t necessarily have to be a recreation of your dream date from your favourite rom com. Some time alone with your spouse could mean a daily evening walk, or a cup of tea away from the kids. Need to get some money from the bank? Have someone watch the kids while you make a longish stop to the ATM. Run errands together, buy groceries together. Use this time to talk about things other than the children. Talk about your work, your day, or just what you have missed since you last spent time together.
- Join a class together: Couples that work out together….you know the rest! Motivate each other and spend that time together by joining an activity you both love doing. it could be the gym, a dance class, a book club, anything. As long as you go together, spend time together, and come back home refreshed.
- Make a plan and work towards it: While you may have loved spontaneity before children, it is wise to make a plan and work towards it once the kids come along. Pick a date that suits both your schedules, mark it on your calendars and work towards it. The anticipation and excitement of what is to come will make you want the date and make sure you have it against all odds.
- Do not get frustrated with cancelled plans: Need we say more? Things happen to the best laid plans…so don’t worry if you have to cancel last minute. Just remember to reschedule.
- Leave guilt behind: Remember to be a good mom/dad you need to recharge and refresh. It is completely alright to leave your baby once in a while with a trusted sitter or family member for a few hours while you spend some time with your spouse. Plan ahead and make sure they know emergency numbers, where they can reach you, and have a complete list of baby’s dos and don’ts on hand.
- Be creative: If you simply cannot get out of the house without your children, get creative! Give them an activity that will keep them busy for a half hour and grab a cup of coffee out of their earshot.
- Weekend nap times: Use this golden hour to your best advantage.
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Rushita Sheth
Mansi Zaveri
KSP Team
