Do You Model The Behavior You Want Your Child To Exhibit?

Act in a way you want them to act, Speak in a way you want them to speak, Respect in a way you want them to respect. Remember your child is a reflection of you in their growing years so encourage them to blossom and find their own individuality because they remember less of what you teach and more of what you are.’

Your children are always observing you and unconsciously modelling your behaviour. They are constantly registering your behavioural patterns.

For example, your outlook towards a stressful situation, the way you treat people around you, and how you deal with your feelings and emotions. They soak in all these actions of yours like little sponges. Even when you think your children are not paying attention, they are actually constantly observing and registering your actions and reactions. I believe,

“ Preach and teach what you practice yourself. It’s not only about the words you speak but also the actions you take for your child to follow”.

You either parent your child the way you have been parented or you choose to do the opposite depending on your own childhood experiences. The feelings/ emotions felt in your childhood are stored in your subconscious as memories. These create core beliefs of all the rights and wrongs, good and bad, do’s and don’ts, which reflect in the way you act and react towards your kids. This cyclic phenomenon occurs very unknowingly.

Modelling Unhealthy Behaviour:

Sometimes, you might set unhealthy behavioural patterns as an example for your kids.

Example 1: As parents, we may binge-watch movies/shows or often be on our gadgets but we constantly tell our children to restrain their screen time by pushing them to read more or take up an activity which will help them learn and grow.
Example 2: We tell our children to treat everyone with respect or not to bad mouth. Yet, often we make critical comments about other people behind their backs unknowingly when the kids are around.

Roles Parents Play:

When we speak of parenting it’s not only the mother who is the role model, the father’s behaviour has the same impact on the child as of the mother.
Discipline, learning life skills, showing respect towards self and others all starts from home (your immediate surrounding). It’s from the parents that the child imbibes the nuances of life.
The behaviour that parents conduct towards each other and at home, has an immense effect on the child’s understanding about relationships. The experiences witnessed by the child are absorbed and stored in their subconscious.

Demonstrating Emotional Skills:

All the do’s and don'ts are made very clear and demanded from your child. Do we follow these ideals ourselves?
A child’s emotions are often neglected and the emphasis is laid on ensuring that his interpersonal skills are well established.
Most parents find it difficult to identify their own emotions and feelings. Understanding your child’s emotions, reactions to a particular situation creates a strong bond from a young age.

How to Demonstrate Emotional Skills:

Emotions and feelings play a very important role in shaping a child’s life. Kids experience complex feelings just like their parents but are unable to assimilate and express it due to lack of articulation. Hence to support and encourage them to regulate and express their emotions is of utmost significance. It builds a strong foundation from an early age to live a stress and anxiety-free life.
As you converse with your child, try to include references to your thoughts, feelings, perceptions and memories for your child to imbibe the same.
Act in situations that occurred inappropriately by speaking with your child in a calm and composed manner to understand what caused it and how are they feeling.
When you help your child build this awareness of identifying their thoughts, feelings, perceptions and memories, you will enable them to feel comfortable with their inner self. This will develop compassion and empathy towards themselves and others.

Follow Your Rules:

Use discipline that teaches life skills, and explain how these rules will benefit them later in their life.
If you show kids that you honour the rules, it will increase the effectiveness of your disciplinarian strategies.

Simple Tips To Follow:

It’s really hard to model appropriate behaviour for your kids at all times, and no one is expecting you to be perfect. As a Life Strategist, I believe, what you can do is to become more mindful of the way you act and react.
Reflect before you speak. Speak of your shortcomings, and how you are working towards being different the next time a situation plays out.
Demonstrate how to manage emotions like frustration, sadness, anger, etc. Express your feelings with ease and encourage them to learn the same. Let them know it’s absolutely fine to speak their mind.
Teach them how to ask questions when confused.
Remember being a good role model will not only benefit your child but will benefit you in many ways.