Supriya Menon is a former BBC News journalist and an independent writer based in Kerala right now. She’s busy chasing her ambition when she’s not chasing after her toddler.
I have always relied on my friends for help when making decisions in my adult life. Being an only child, my circle of close friends has been my sounding board for all things good and nasty. However, when my baby was born two years ago, I found myself floundering. None of my friends had babies. I was the first one in my group to cross over to the other side! The Internet was my go-to place for all queries. I spent countless bleary-eyed nights poring over images of poop, wondering if my baby’s matched up to the myriad hues on display!
I missed talking to someone about my baby’s milestones and my concerns over every new hair and tooth that sprouted. At the same time, I was wary of becoming one of those mums who obsessively shares every single detail about her new baby to her (yet to have babies) friends. And frankly, their stories of work and parties were far more engaging than my nightly feeding tales. If any, it provided a welcome break from my world of feeding, burping, cleaning and then repeat, on endless loop.
You may also like: Should you choose your child’s friends?
But when my daughter turned one, I knew she and I both needed friends. My patience for internet searches was wearing thin and I knew I needed to meet other mommies. It was then that an acquaintance with a child younger than mine, whom I was constantly badgering for play dates, decided to make a play group. It had 7 of us with kids ranging from 6 months to my daughter who, at 1.5 years, was the oldest. I missed the first few play dates. Circumstances, and initial apprehension probably, could be blamed. I had already made friends for life and I sucked at this meet new people game.
Finally, after my initial inertia, I mustered the courage and took my baby for a play date to a total stranger’s house. To my surprise and relief, my baby and I both had a great time. Here, I didn’t have to apologise for my child’s misdemeanours. I didn’t have to worry if she wasn’t eating or sleeping. There were other mums with other stories, their take on the motherhood narrative telling me it’s okay. Clueless doesn’t necessarily mean clued out.
For my baby, the play groups were a source of learning new songs and playing with different toys. Of course she now had her own set of buddies, but sharing or playing with them was another story altogether. As for me, I learnt the trick of talking to someone else while keeping an eye on my child the whole time!
You may also like: A friend to my child- to be or not to be?
Research tells me that these early friendships help in her cognitive development. Her ability to see and grasp what her peers are doing and emulate them benefitted to a certain extent. But at a deeper level, she knows these are her friends and asks for them while at home. As for me, I am now busy checking out prospective schools for my baby along with some of the other mums.
As several of our play group’s younger members turn one, I am truly happy to see their achievements and celebrate them just like my daughter’s. I know we all may not be in touch a decade from now, but that hasn’t stopped me from already thinking about a reunion when my toddler turns 18. Who knows how this bunch will turn out?
Image source: www.premiumproseindia.com
Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Soundcloud & Instagram or subscribe to our YoutubeChannel for more information.
Tanya Lemos
KSP Team
Kanishka Pariani
