Tantrums usually happen when a toddler is tired, hungry or uncomfortable. It also happens because they cannot get something ( like a toy or a parent ) to do what they want them to do. Tantrums are a normal part of child development.
Tantrums are common once the child is two years of age as they are still developing speech skills, communication skills and exploring things around them. There is a lot that they are learning every day and want to convey their emotions.
They try to have more conversations than earlier and when they are unable to express their feelings they may start throwing a tantrum. We must always try to help them convey their emotions whether they are upset, angry, sad, frustrated, happy, excited as this builds their confidence.
As parents, we get worried that our child is throwing a tantrum. He/she is not listening to us and we don’t know why. Sometimes the kids just want our attention and hence they throw the tantrum.
There comes a situation when suddenly the child throws up a tantrum and it becomes difficult for us to control the situation.
As parents, some of us feel that our child is embarrassing us by throwing tantrums. What we don’t realize is that, at that time we are actually focussing more on others around us than our own child.
Sometimes as parents, we don’t understand them and we expect them to understand our point of view. Not to mention the people around us who give us looks at how we are reacting to the child. Whenever your child throws the tantrum, the focus should always be child and not the surroundings around us. Half the battle is already won as a parent when the child gets our attention and it becomes easier to calm them down.
Let me share with you my formula that works most of the time when my little one throws a tantrum.
Whenever my little ones throws a tantrum I hug him, give him my full attention and ask him to tell me what is happening, what is that he needs. I assure him that I am listening to him and he can let me know what is bothering him and making him upset so that I can help him. This assurance calms him down and he is then able to convey in a better manner what exactly made him upset and what is that he needs.
This is tried and tested formula for me, we need to maintain our calm and be patient. Yelling at a child who is already throwing tantrums would not help us in any manner. In fact, the situation will probably get out of hand and later we will be on a guilt trip that we yelled at our little one. Once the baby knows we are with him, it automatically soothes them.
Once the tantrum has passed speak to your child and explain things to him now. Explain to him the logic as he would now be in the listen mode. We may think kids don’t understand all this, they are too small, but better our conversations with them, better is their foundation and understanding
Few other points that we must also consider to avoid tantrums
- Be consistent in your approach. We need to have a daily routine so that the child knows what to expect during the day.
- Always appreciate good behaviour and let your child make choices.
- Avoid situations likely to trigger tantrums.
- To stop a tantrum, stay calm, distract the baby. At any point do not give in to demands and most importantly acknowledge their feelings/emotions,
- Be patient and keep your calm always and the tantrums if these little toddlers would be the easiest to handle.
These are my tried and tested ways of dealing with my 2-year old’s temper tantrums. If you have some other way that can help, please do share it with us in the comments below. Anything to make another mom’s life easier. We always love hearing from our subscribers.
Mansi Zaveri
KSP Team
Rushita Sheth
