How To Talk To Kids About War? A Conscious Parenting Coach Explains

The news channels haven’t stopped buzzing.

Instagram, Twitter, and WhatsApp alerts are non-stop.

Quick question. What is your instant reaction when your child says, “What is war?”

Is it an immediate “You don’t need to know all that” or “Stop asking these questions!”. If you are doing either, please pause. Put yourself in the child’s place. Something that I often say as a Conscious Parenting Coach. With the Nationwide mock drill planned today, as I write this, our children have more questions in their minds. They are worried. They are concerned. They don’t quite comprehend it all. They look up to you for support and help.

And what is important is to remember that when you don’t provide them the answers, they will seek them elsewhere. Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen. I will explain.

The last few weeks have been heavy. The kind that sits with you in quiet moments, when your child asks, “Why are people fighting?” or “Are we safe?” And suddenly, you’re searching for words that both comfort and explain.

I often find myself navigating these delicate conversations. Children are perceptive; they sense the unease, the tension, even if they don’t fully grasp the details. Avoiding their questions or dismissing their concerns doesn’t shield them—it leaves them to fill in the blanks with their own imaginations, which can be even more frightening.

When your child brings up such topics, start by asking what they know. This not only gives you insight into their understanding but also allows you to correct any misconceptions.

Here are some tips that will help you:

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Don’t shut the conversation down.

Saying “No need to talk about it” doesn’t help — because if they don’t learn from you, they’ll learn from someone else.

Start by asking what they know.

Try: “Have you heard anything about India and Pakistan?”

You might be surprised. If they’ve heard something, you need to know what it was.

Reassure them.

Even if it sounds scary, let them know: “You’re safe. I’m here to keep you safe.”

Don’t overload them with too much information.

If they say they don’t know anything, don’t stop there.

They’ll hear about it eventually. You can gently explain: Please use age-appropriate language and information.

“War is when people fight instead of talking. It’s sad, and people get hurt, so we always try to choose peace.”

Separate out the lyrics and tune.

Lyrics are the words you say. They should be clear and straightforward. Your tune—the language and tone you use—should be reassuring.

If you’re feeling tense

If you’re feeling upset

If you’re feeling nervous

That’s what is going to come across

Let them know they can always come to you.

Make sure you tell them “If you ever hear something or feel worried, you can always ask me.”

It’s also essential to be mindful of the media content consumed by children. Graphic images and distressing news can have lasting impacts on young minds. Limiting their exposure and discussing events in a calm, reassuring manner helps maintain their sense of security.

Doomscrolling is something most of us are used to of late. It is easy to crash on a couch and go through horrific imagery and news one after the other, on social media. Remember, the algorithm works based on what you consume. The more you consume negative news, the more your timeline is going to be flooded by it. Be mindful of how you consume, and make sure you are mindful in your children’s presence, too.

Passing political remarks in front of the children, using inappropriate language, and scare-mongering are something you must really avoid.

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Remember, children look to us for cues on how to react. If we approach these discussions with calm and empathy, they learn to process their emotions in a healthy way. Let them know it’s okay to feel upset or confused, and that you’re always there to talk.

In our home, we turn to stories. Books and open conversations have become our tools for understanding the world. They help children develop empathy, recognise injustice, and foster a desire for peace.

We may not have all the answers, and we certainly can’t shield our children from every harsh reality. But we can equip them with the tools to navigate a complex world with compassion and resilience.

By fostering open dialogue, being mindful of media exposure, and encouraging empathy through stories, we lay the foundation for a generation that seeks understanding over conflict.