I Have A Son But Here Is How I Would Raise My Daughter

So, how children are perceived by the society and particularly this varying treatment of a girl vs a boy is quite upsetting, to say the least. So, rather than looking at a girl child as a liability I believe it is up to the parents of the children to look at and treat their children as equals. You may also like: An Open Letter To Pammi Aunty, No I Don’t Need A Son To Complete My FamilyStop the gender divide at home:If your girl child wants to wear blue rather than pink, let her. To quote an inspiring young lady who today is doing a lot for womens rights and the education of young girls around the world- Malala Yousafzai:If one man can destroy everything, why cant one girl change it?
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On one of my many long plane rides back to London, I decided to indulge in one of my guilty pleasures and watch one of those multi-hour long Bollywood films. Badrinath ki Dulhaniya was on the list of movies available, and one I was told that it was my kind of a movie (that usually means a lot of singing and dancing, comedy, light-hearted and typically Bollywood – the masala entertainment kind, you know). So, I’ll give it a try, I thought.

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The movie probably struck a chord with me because I am in my early years of fatherhood and of bringing up a child. So, how children are perceived by the society and particularly this varying treatment of a girl vs a boy is quite upsetting, to say the least.

To think that girls are still treated like this in India (and maybe even other parts of the world, who knows) is shocking, mind-boggling and quite disturbing.

Why this differential treatment?

Actually, no matter where it happens, what has a girl child done to deserve such a fate and treatment? Isn’t she the same flesh and blood, the same living, breathing human being as a boy? As far as I can tell, yes! Then why is there so much negativity around and why are girls not treated right?

Girls have shown themselves to outshine their male counterparts and peers at every given opportunity. Everywhere we look, there are shining examples of female leaders, entrepreneurs, CEOs, setting the paths and examples for others to follow. Why should they be held back in any fashion or form? Do the names Indra Nooyi, Malala Yousafazai or even Hillary Clinton ring a bell or at least give you a sense of what I’m talking about?

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When Kian was born, I was often asked if I was happy that I had a boy. My honest response was, “Why does it matter? I would have been equally happy if it were a girl. All I wanted was a healthy baby, and I am glad Kian is a happy and healthy child.” Yet somehow people didn’t believe me. I’m not sure why or what impression I gave to hint that a boy was the preferable option for me. Or is it because I am an Indian and hence having a boy was a preference? Am not sure!

I mean, seriously, what am I not going to get with a girl that I will with a boy (besides the obvious now, come on) – muscles, strength, sport, fitness- all those and more. I can’t think of any other gender-based stereotypes, really.

In this day and age, there is no limitation to what a child can achieve, so long as he or she is not limited by their surroundings, their parents or societal pressures.

So, rather than looking at a girl child as a liability I believe it is up to the parents of the children to look at and treat their children as equals. It is important for the parents to make sure that their children are never made aware of, or subject to such ‘preferences’ (if they can even be called that).

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Stop the gender divide at home:

If your girl child wants to wear blue rather than pink, let her. If she wants to play with action figures rather than Barbie dolls, then let her. Likewise, if your son doesn’t want to be an accountant, a banker or go into a profession that you thought should be ‘for a man’ (if there is such a thing again), then let him. If he would rather learn how to crack eggs and make the best pastry ever, then let him. Who knows he may just open the most successful patisserie in the world! The gist is, don’t limit your child on the basis of their gender. If she is a girl, she is not a liability; she is as much an asset as a boy, in fact, maybe more!

To quote an inspiring young lady who today is doing a lot for women’s rights and the education of young girls around the world- Malala Yousafzai:

“If one man can destroy everything, why can’t one girl change it?”

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