Let’s face it. Sometimes we get a little too involved in our kids’ lives. I’m so sure most of the time it’s unintentional, but yet embarrassing for kids. Being parents of gen Z and Gen Alpha , we need to understand that their world is and will be way different from the one we grew up in. Their goals, their lifestyle, their standards, and their social life benchmarks are all utterly foreign to us. And so, we mustn’t push our philosophy into their lives, because it won’t make sense…
Wait, We Embarrass Our Kids? What, How?!
Parenting is not an easy job. There are so many times when parents wonder if they’re doing the right thing. We want to shower them with our love and hope they want for nothing. Now the thing is that It’s just sometimes the way we show it in ways that our kids don’t always approve of. Even though we have the best interests in mind, we sometimes go overboard.
So, how exactly do we embarrass kids?
“Overprotectiveness” comes naturally the day you hold that little bundle of joy. You vow to always protect that little human. But years later, when that little human isn’t as little anymore. We still like to keep them safe in our embrace. (Which to them becomes a cage) We need to realise, that once they are big, they need to fall and get up on their own. They need to learn their own lessons from their own mistakes. We can’t keep them from falling forever now, can we? This not only embarrasses kids but makes them feel too controlled and frustrated.
Open up that cage and trust your kids a little more. Believe me, it means a lot to them.
Some parents have the habit of comparing their kids or proclaiming their insecurities out loud. This is honestly embarrassing! And more than embarrassing, it hurts the child mentally. When you are comparing your kid or telling them they are not good enough, you are pressuring them and causing them mental stress.
We need to realise that words can hurt and scar a person forever, and this is just a child… imagine the effect it may be having on their minds and self-esteem.
According to me, at this age and time, if you want to be a good and understanding parent that your kid won’t be embarrassed by, you need to be their friend. This doesn’t mean, giving them all the liberty in the world… but what it means, is not policing them all the time.
We just need to avoid following the parenting route and techniques our parents used for us. We are parenting the future, we cannot use parenting styles of the past and expect them to work.
We asked kids to share instances when they were super embarrassed by a parent. How many do you relate to?
1. “My mother is always asking me to sing and dance in front of my relatives. It is so embarrassing!”
2. “As if her advising me all the time isn’t bad enough, my mother sometimes dishes out advice to my friends too. I have a friend who is a little overweight and every time she meets him, she asks him to get on a diet.”
My friend be like:
3. “I really hate it when they call me by my pet name in public. I feel like hiding somewhere.”
4. “My mummy and daddy sometimes ask me to lie to our relatives for them. But when I lie to my parents, they really yell at me, I don’t know why.”
5. “I hate the way my parents emotionally blackmail me to do things.”
6. “They take me to functions and introduce me to some aunty who I have never seen in my life and ask if I recognize her.”
7. “When it suits them they call me a grown-up, at other times they say I am ‘just a child’. They just can’t make up their minds.”
8. “She does not let me sleep in even during the holidays. She wakes me up by 10:00 a.m.!”
9. “Whenever we go out on a family vacation with relatives, they ask me in front of everyone if I went to the bathroom. It is so embarrassing.”
10. “Sometimes when I am online, I find them sneaking up behind me to check on what I am doing.”
Do you do this to your kids? How many of these happened to you as a child? Let us know in the comments below, anecdotes from your childhood.