“So, what did you learn in school today?”
Many parents would be so familiar with this line. It’s something they have used umpteen times. As the year ends, parents often reflect on how their kid has grown in the year, both in the core subjects as well as in all the extra-curricular activities enrolled. But, how would we respond, if we were asked how we grew as parents this year?
What did you learn as a parent this year?
This interesting question was popped at me by a friend which got me thinking about the year gone by, especially since December, is the last month of the year, is filled with introspections and soon resolutions.
This year promised to be a very important one for me, a year where kid 1 was poised for his first brush with the monster called board exams and kid 2 would step into the senior school which held both, the promise of freedom and the fear of the burgeoning syllabus.
Academically, it looked like an extremely daunting year, but as April came around, the first thing I had to learn was to let go. My kids didn't want me hovering around all the time despite the fact that I had turned myself into the modern super mom making sure their schedules were in place, they ate healthy food, slept soundly and scored well. I needed to accept their fall, see them get up dust off the grime, assess the damage caused and learn to move forward despite the hurt. I thought that would diminish my importance, but it didn’t. Each time I was able to take a step back more confidently. It has done wonders for both the kids and me.
Lesson Deux – Tell the kids what you are spending on them and make them value their possessions. This generation of urban children has too much. It’s easy to give in to their demands of buying a small toy, a new shirt or a gadget on a whim. While we must accept this as the new normal, it’s a good idea to explain to the kids what your average household spending is and what portion is spent on them including the holidays that the family takes. Associating a figure to each thing they feel the dire need of owning, makes them value it, making it easier for them to accept a no from you. Of course, it brings with it an embarrassment when your kid looks at something as asks “Is this too expensive?” loud enough for everyone to hear.
Image source: http://ks-ncm.blogspot.com
However, the most important part of my education as a parent was the enlightenment about the fact that the clichéd generation gap now exists between me and my kids. They talk in a different lingo, their career options include becoming a gamer and a YouTuber and no gamer doesn't mean sportsperson. DDLJ and HAHK elicit a cringe from the kids and their songs make one eyebrow go up in astonishment. My stories of how we studied without Whatsapp or Google are met with a surprise as if the world I talk about couldn’t exist (Actually it sounds that way to me too!) I never dreamed that such a thing would occur with my kids because after all, I am a 21st-century parent. So, I come to the conclusion that no matter how modern a parent I consider myself to be, the generation gap is a reality I have to embrace.
So here’s to growing as a parent and more learnings in 2019!
Kanishka Pariani
Rushita Sheth
Janani S Koushik
Vaishnavi Venkatraman
Mansi Zaveri
