In a society where media is painting a one-sided picture of beauty, and women are being violated all around, raising girls is a big & complex task for any parent. Figuring out what is the best way of dealing with all these issues of reality and how to still instil the right confidence in our girls is something we parents need to work on intentionally. This is how I am doing it for my daughter.
We were at a friends place a few days back for a weekend get together. And a comment from a friend held my attention throughout the party night and much beyond. My daughter is turning 10 in a couple of months. The ease with which she manoeuvred from a group of 2-3-year-olds to the teenager gang made me see a young grown-up girl ready to take on the world.
So here I was resolving to have a candid chat on a lot of important life lessons with her. I planned an outing with her the next weekend. We both went for an early morning walk in the park and after a few mins of connecting, I started my discussion with her. It was full of laughter, funny jokes and serious questions in between. However, I present to you the snapshot of key points on raising confident girls.
- Believe in the unique YOU
A bird sitting on the tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Trust yourself, your values, your own potential and life will be interesting. Let nobody else tell you what you can achieve in life and let nobody else tell you what you are. Believe in yourself and your inner voice before believing in anything people say.
- Be yourself
You will have an overload of messages all around you telling you what is good what is beautiful and what is right. Don't take their word just like that. Have your logic do the work of establishing the credibility & efficacy of all the noise.
In life you would meet a lot of people, you will like some and not gel with some, you would idealize some and be ignorant to some. Have an ideal in life but don't copy her. You will lose yourself in your race to becoming someone you admire.
- Choose your clan
You are the average of the top 5 people you interact the most with. It's important to choose your circle of friends wisely because that decides the direction and quality of your life. Never be afraid to push the wrong people out of your life. Hang out with people you look up to and people you can learn something from.
- Live in present and prepare for your future
Every thought that crosses your mind is laying the foundation for your future. Choose your thoughts and actions wisely so as to design the future that you would like. Live your life by design not by default. Have a vision for your life my girl. Don't just waste your life in living aimlessly. Have a purpose and stay focussed to achieve that in life. Also, beware of carrying the past & worrying for the future. This is the moment to Live. Live in present.
- Have a mind of your own
Never give in to the people who feel that your say is not important. You are important and intelligent enough to have an opinion of your own on any subject. And that opinion is invaluable. Stand up for what you feel is right even if it means standing and walking alone. Sooner or later the right would take over the popular.
- Solve problems don't create them
In life, you would be surrounded by all different kinds of people. Few of them will create issues, few will discuss issues but only a few of them would have courage and intentions to solve the issues and lead others. Be amongst the leaders who solve the problems of the world.
- Participation is more important than wins
While I have always been a mom who wanted you to excel in everything you do, today, I will share one of the very important expectations I have from you as my daughter. Participate and give in your best. It does not really matter if you win or not, I would be happiest to see you giving your 100 % of your effort. Winning would be special but not winning would make me equally happy too.
- Respect yourself
Life is full of lows and highs, challenges and opportunities, successes and failures which bring a rollercoaster of emotions inside your heart. And it is important then to realize and respect your own emotions. Never be ashamed of your own feelings and emotions. Don't do what you don't like. A simple rule that will help you decide when in doubt. Do not do to others what you would not like to be done to you. Follow your heart and you would come out of a situation as a winner. Don't give in to the pressures of society and end up living for pleasing others.
- Don't give up
Whatever the situation in life, just get up, dress up, show up and don't give up. Giving up is not an option in life. If you feel overwhelmed, just step back and take a break. Wake up to a new day with fresh perspectives.
- Love and spread more love.
Feeling loved is the most important feeling in the world. If you could love yourself and others truly, half the battles of life are won before beginning. And always remember Money comes later.