Talking To My Teen Daughter About Myself Helped Us Become Better Friends

i Had Started Painting A Happy Family Picture For My Daughter Even Before She Came Into This World. The Happy Family Picture That I Saw Everywhere Around. The Tv, The Magazines,  The Media Around; All Depicted The Story Of A Family Life With Kids In An Idealistic & Fun Way.

my Friends & Family Too Refrained From Making Any Different Observations About Their Life With Kids In Front Of Me. Not Because They Did Not Want Me To Know & Prepare For The Road Ahead But Because They Have So Instinctively Accustomed Themselves To Their Own 

so, I Was Working Hard To Simulate A Life Where Parents Work To Provide A Safe And Happy Environment To Their Kids And The Kids Enjoyed Their Life By Playing And Studying Hard. A Life Which Is Fun For One And All In The Family – The Picture Perfect Family!

being An Exhausted, Bored  & Deprived Mom

my Journey To Perfection On All The Facets Of Motherhood Began With Great Enthusiasm. Most Of My Days Went By Taking Care Of The Little And Ignoring My Inner Voice That Raised So Many Questions.

there Were Days When I Had put In All My Energy To Just To Maintain My Calm And Composure In The Middle Of All These Unanswered Questions And Unattended Feelings Inside Me. And I Sailed Through Most Of These Days By Being The Ideal mom For My Daughter.

with Time, Exhaustion Started To Slip Into My Life. And It Took Me From Being An Intentionally Fun & Calm Mom To Unknowingly Exhausted & Irritated Mom. However, I Tried To Gather Myself Often But Still Ended Up Breaking Down So Many Times. Yes, I Deviated From My 'perfect' Family Picture And my Kids Witnessed Their Mom's Sadness And Weariness.

when Those Words Were Not Enough Anymore

unfortunately, I Did Not Have Any Reasons To Give Them Since They Were Too Small To Understand These Complex Human Emotions. However, Somewhere Inside I Felt, My Kids Had A Lot Of Unanswered Questions Now. Every Time I Had A Bad Day, My Husband And I Ended Up Saying "mom Is Not Feeling Great" To Our Kids. But I Had This Feeling That This Was Not Sufficing Anymore At Least For My Grown-up Daughter Now.

recently, On My Monthly Date With My Teen Daughter, Our Conversation Took An Interesting Turn. While We Were Talking Of How She Has Now Grown Up To Be A Confident & Beautiful Young Teenager, We Stumbled Upon A Couple Of Not So Good Impressions She Had From Her Childhood.

and That Was The Time, I Decided That I Needed To Unfurl Some Silhouettes From The Past. Although It Was Difficult For Me To Go Against The Ideal Family Setting In Which The Parents Are Supposed To Be The Problem-solvers And Not Share Their Own Challenges And Burden The Kids With Their Baggage, But In These Last 12 Years, I Had Worked Every Day On Me To Gather The Courage To Break These Stereotypes And Move Beyond The Perfect Family Image.

i Opened My Life Book For My Teen Daughter

so, I Opened My Life Book For My Teen Daughter That Day. We Revisited The Old Chapters Of My Life Book And Had Long Conversations Around How I Got Affected By What People(friends & Family) Thought And How Neglecting My Own Inner Voice Led Me To Be "the Worst Me".

i Had Always Been An Ambitious Girl Who Wanted To Reach For The Stars, But I Felt Limited By Just Being A Sahm; How Being A Sahm Doing Chores Was Not Enough For My Personal Fulfilment. I Wanted To Do So Much More Along With Raising My Kids But i Did Not See Any Way In Which I Could Do That Along With Being A Good Mom To My Kids.

she Spent Time Listening & Living Through The Parts Of My Life That I Have Not Opened Up To Many.

a New Bond Of Friendship 

this Candid Conversation With My Teen Has Changed Many Things In Our Lives.

• it Has Deepened Our Bond And Has Forged A New Friendship Between Me And My Teen Daughter.
• i Have Felt A Big Change In My Daughter In How She Sees Life And Various Situations. From An Entitlement Attitude That She Had always, She Has Turned To A Mature And Empathetic Young Lady. I Am A Proud Mom Today.
• she Is Now Visibly More Sympathetic to Other People's Needs.
• she Is Definitely More Eager To Share Her Everyday Challenges And Wins With Me. And I Feel So Much A Part Of Her Story Now. I Am Sure This Feeling Is mutual.
• lastly She Knows My Goals And Aspirations Regarding My Work Now And Is A Big Enabler & Fan Of My Work. I Gather My Everyday Strength To Manage Both My Work And Kids From Her And I Am Loving It.

i Would Just Like To End By Saying :

"conforming To Stereotypes Is Not The Greatest Way To Live Your Life. Half The Times, Stereotypes Show An Incomplete Picture And The Other Half They Are Extremely Limiting. So Break Out Of The Stereotypes And Be Courageous To Be You."