The 10 Things Every Son Needs From His Mother

Chandni Bhagat is a new mommy and also a Child Psychologist who runs a popular day care chain called Jumping Genius in Mumbai. Her blog covers her take on mommy hood and life between three cities- New York, Mumbai and Dubai! She’s an avid reader and loves spending time with her two main men.
Read more posts at www.raiseamommy.com

They say a son is eternally bound to his mother! The reality of this rings true in today’s world also, and the reason behind Ekta Kapoor being a millionaire many times over. Mothers are known to be irrationally in love with their sons, and while that sounds cute and adorable, often it can take an unhealthy turn. But there’s a lot a mother can channelize with love and here are 10 things:

• Love purely, and freely – Your son is also a baby who craves attention, love, cuddling. So don’t hesitate to love your son. When he grows up and resists, find other ways to continue loving him. It’ll teach him to communicate love, to remember this when he’s a father and respect your bond even more.
• Self respect – A mother is a queen in her child’s eyes and if Freud was to be believed, she’s a lot more! So mommies, look at yourself with respect, and treat yourself well. Don’t let anyone talk you down, or be unreasonable with you, your husband or your child. It sets the tone for the future.
• Respect his father – Marry the kind of man you want your son to be. It’s that simple and that important. Don’t be fooled by the notion that your son will be his own man. A lot of what we are, is shaped in our childhood and therefore the role of the father in the son’s life couldn’t get more important. So mommies let him see you respect your main man in your life.
• Have fun – Make fun a routine part of your day! This is so important. Don’t get caught up in work, parenting and being a home maker, and forget to enjoy these precious years. Put on music, dance, sing and laugh together. Your son won’t remember the toys, but he’ll cherish these memories.
• Be his cheerleader- Everyone needs their own cheerleader, so be exactly that for your son and husband. Whether it’s his show and tell project, or his soccer game, or even him playing gully cricket, let him and the world know you’re his biggest fan. I mean we all are, might as well show it to the world!
• Back off when required – I know, I know it’s a thin line between love, cheerleading and complete obsession. But you gotta mark the boundaries. Especially if you want him to continue to confide in you, and look up to you and be your friend. There are going to be times when he won’t want you around or involved, so mommies have the wisdom to not take it personally and back off, which brings us to the next point.
• Let him make mistakes – I’m not crazy, I genuinely believe, our job is to shape them, mould them with the best resources we have and then let them figure it out themselves. Some days they’ll shine, on others they’ll fall. Don’t berate them, chide them or be sarcastic. Just hold them and tell them you love them. Then figure out a way to kick ass together!
• To appreciate women – If you have healthy, open relationships with other women – in your house, at work, and in social circles, it helps your son communicate with women effectively as well. It just makes the process easier, and he will always appreciate women. Teach him about real beauty, of character, of different cultures, rather than just superficial stuff.
• Do stuff that he likes – I know the Play station may not be your best friend, but what’s the harm in giving it a go every now and then. Get involved in stuff he likes. It could be painting, or the play station or playing some running game. Re-live your childhood. Now you have a valid excuse too!
• Pay attention to his problems – If you don’t care about his problems when he’s 3, why should he confide in you at 13? It’s that simple. Why he can’t colour right is as important to him at 3 as why he can’t try smoking with his friends at 13. So if he learns to trust you in early life, chances of him confiding later seem good!

Mommyhood is a myriad of emotions and experiences, but if we play our cards right sometimes it’ll all come together seamlessly! At least that’s my hope for all of us!

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