The Asifa Murder Case And How It Has Shocked Me As A Parent

They protested the farce that was the Hindu Ekta Manch, they talked about the majority religion slowly plotting to throw out the Muslim nomads from the area. Yes, the root cause of this problem is religion and caste and the majority religion trying to drive home a point to the minority religion in the most gruesome way possible. Political parties, ruling parties, state governments can focus on religion and caste until we grow tired of hearing it.

It was extremely difficult to open this morning newspaper to read. I took a decision (however, hard it was) to stay away from social media accounts. I spent close to two hours last night arguing with close journalist friends about the politicisation and the religiosity of the issue. As journalists covering the story they couldn’t separate the cause of the rape from the actual act. They protested the farce that was the Hindu Ekta Manch, they talked about the majority religion slowly plotting to throw out the Muslim nomads from the area. They saw the technicalities. I saw something different.

As a parent, I look at Asifa’s eyes and see my child’s eyes in them. Her face is striking and extremely difficult to forget. The purple of her outfit remains etched in your mind, even more so if you had the misfortune of seeing the picture of her body, the way it was found. Her hair, like my children’s, desperately in need of a brush. Her superpower, her smile, with the ability to get away with anything, unfortunately, none of this worked on those monsters who abducted her.

Yes, the root cause of this problem is religion and caste and the majority religion trying to drive home a point to the minority religion in the most gruesome way possible. But ask any parent, and religion as part of this issue is the last thing they can focus on. Political parties, ruling parties, state governments can focus on religion and caste until we grow tired of hearing it. But anyone who has a child will not be able to think about anything else but this little girl who was grazing horses and was kidnapped for no fault of her own.

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How do we ensure our children are safe? Do we hold them closer today than we did yesterday? Should we shadow them on playgrounds, parks, after-school classes, school bathrooms? I have been grappling with this question for days now but how do I know my kids are safe unless they are in front of me? Who can we trust anymore?

A few months ago, I spoke to a friend raising two girls and settled in the US. She was asking me about raising my boys in India and made a curious comment, “You don’t have to worry as much,” she said. “You are bringing up boys. For me, I shudder at the thought of bringing my girls back to India.” I reprimanded her saying no country is without problems and that it depends on how we raise our children. Today, I see she has texted me on WhatsApp. I have no words to reply and know she is having the last laugh.