The Craziest Advice All Pregnant Indian Women Will Hear

Free Advice from: The house cookPregnant women must eat double the amount of food they normally do so that they will give birth to a nice, healthy, chubby baby. Eating white coloured food in the morning will make your baby fairFree advice from: The neighbor auntyWe should do everything in our control when we are pregnant to produce a fair baby. You can not go for haircutsFree advice from: The FriendShe firmly believed that if a pregnant mom reduces her hair length, the lifespan of the baby will also reduce by that much. Free advice from: The AuntI say: No resistance at all, this one was easy to follow, but what if my baby ends up with blue eyes and blonde hair, wonder how we will explain that! You can not swear or use the “F word” anymore because the baby can hear everythingFree advice from: The HusbandI say: Same goes for you, the baby can hear you too!
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There are tons of superstitious people the world over who are free and quick to share their belief with you. Especially if you are pregnant. India probably has a lot more than the rest of the world. I remember when I was pregnant, I became susceptible to a lot of unwanted advice from everyone around me. People who were constantly on a mission to protect the baby’, constantly dished out advice and never missed an opportunity to pass on their quirks. Suddenly everyone was an expert and I had to follow some because I couldn’t just ignore it and take a chance right?

Here are the top 10 most insane pregnancy advice/tips/superstitions that all Indian moms have heard and/or have followed.

1. Don’t speak to anyone about your pregnancy for the first 3 months.

Free Advice from: The Mom

Save the child from evil eye/buri nazar/of other people who might either be too happy or sad or jealous or excited to hear your ‘good news’.

I say: Everyone knows how good women are at keeping secrets, I found this extremely hard to follow but I did since this was the very first piece of advice I got and I had no idea it would only get weirder.

2. Pregnant women must eat for two. 

Free Advice from: The house cook

Pregnant women must eat double the amount of food they normally do so that they will give birth to a nice, healthy, chubby baby.

I say: Right! My baby that starts of the size of a pea and finally grows into the size of a watermelon needs to eat exactly the amount that I do! If I am eating for two then I must also burn pre pregnancy photos and clothes and with that all my hopes of ever seeing myself like that again!

3. Eating white coloured food in the morning will make your baby fair

Free advice from: The neighbor aunty

We should do everything in our control when we are pregnant to produce a fair baby.

I say: Genetics be damned! Why don’t I just start rubbing fairness creams on my belly?

4. You can not go for haircuts

Free advice from: The Friend

She firmly believed that if a pregnant mom reduces her hair length, the lifespan of the baby will also reduce by that much.

I say: Oh! So according to this superstition age reduces in inches.

5. Don’t wear a seat belt

Free advice from: The watchman

Heard this one? Wearing a seat belt in your car will stifle the baby inside my womb!

I say: Safety while inside the car doesn’t apply when you are pregnant. You are protected by all these superstitions you see!

6. You should see beautiful baby pictures everyday, so that your baby resembles them.

Free advice from: The Aunt 

I say: No resistance at all, this one was easy to follow, but what if my baby ends up with blue eyes and blonde hair, wonder how we will explain that!

7. You need to have lots of milk

Free advice from: My Grandmother

Your body needs milk, since you will soon be nursing the newborn baby.

I say: Do cows drink milk too? 

8. If you don’t eat what you crave for, you will have a drooling baby

I say: What?Am I the only one who can’t understand the logic?

9. You can not swear or use the “F word” anymore because the baby can hear everything

Free advice from: The Husband

I say: Same goes for you, the baby can hear you too!

10. Don’t read thriller novels during pregnancy

Free advice from: The Boss

I say: Let the training for CID and detective school begin early!

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