1. A well oiled support system: I don’t think I can do anything without the infrastructure and help that my family provides me with. A super supportive mother in law, husband, sisters and of course my domestic help who manage just about everything including my last minute requests.
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2. A supportive partner: I always believe that your partner is the one person you should be able to count on completely and is the best substitute you can have for yourself. Just make sure you plan in advance and keep instructions ready. It is easy for partners to execute something you should have done with a good set of instructions. So keep it simple and short.
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3. No Pain no gain: Prioritize your life well. You will not and cannot have it all. There will be very few days when you can squeeze everything in the day even if it is important. You will have to choose between work, sleep, exercise, me time, cooking, taking care of the kids, and playtime. There will be people you will disappoint but that’s always something you will have to be okay with. You cannot please everyone and the most important person you need to please is yourself.
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4. Listen but don’t let it bother you:Â This is one lesson all women need to learn and I try really hard to achieve this. Sometimes I succeed but other times I fail miserably. It’s very hard to not let things affect you.
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5. Stop feeling guilty. Do something about it: If you think only you suffer from mom guilt, let me assure you that this condition affects all moms equally. There is no science or logic to it, but looks we are just made that way. We feel guilty but the important thing is to tide over the guilt and do something about it, so you don’t feel guilty again.
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6. Pick and choose your battles: You will never be able to do it all with the kids and they will have their tantrums especially if you are working. All they crave for is your attention. Try and pick your battles with them and rules will work best when they are relaxed so don’t insist on things at bedtime or when they are cranky and will fail to see your reasoning.
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7. Ask and you shall get:Â More often than not women do not ask for help. Shyness, rejection, the reason could be anything. If you need help ask for it. It will make your life and day go by much easier.
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8. Weekly timetables and menus: The question of what to cook today is the one thing I hate racking my brain over every morning. No matter how hard I try we can never have the supplies at home when we want to make something special. So the best way to plan this is to make weekly menus for all meals including snack boxes. Make sure your cook knows so she can plan ahead. Your kids will know what to expect and you are not bothered with that question every morning or evening. In our home, we even have a wishlist that contain things we would like to add to next week’s menu.
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9. Discipline: This is the most important point of the list. Discipline is key and the secret to a good day. Get things organized. Schedule your day well and have time slots for everything.
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Mallika Basu
KSP Team
Janani S Koushik
