What Parents Need To Know About Child Sexual Abuse

With children being confined to their homes due to the lockdown, they can easily fall prey to child abuse, especially, in larger family units. It is a shocking reality that almost every second child in India is subjected to sexual abuse.

A study conducted in 2014 indicates that more than 50% of children in India face sexual abuse. It is also alleged that a child is sexually abused every 15 minutes in India. The figures also indicate that boys are just as much sexually abused as girls in India.  

Child Sexual Abuse According To W.H.O

The World Health Organization (W.H.O) defines sexual abuse as: “The involvement of a child in sexual activity that he or she does not fully comprehend, is unable to give informed consent to, or for which the child is not developmentally prepared and cannot give consent, or that violates the laws or social taboos of society.

What Would Constitute As Sexual Abuse?

The following is sexual abuse and is a criminal offence:

• Unwarranted fondling or touching of private parts
• Compelling the person to perform acts of a sexual nature (Including oral sex)
• Attempted rape
• Penetration (Rape)

A Few Facts We Should Remember

1. Majority of cases of childhood sexual abuse go unreported in our country.
2. In most cases, the perpetrator is a close family member or is known to the victim.
3. Only a handful of children receive the care and treatment they need. 
4. A child often battles with issues of trust and safety, along with emotions of fear, guilt and of shame. 

Children, who are victims of sexual abuse often psychologically, detach themselves during the assault. This is a defence mechanism which the mind uses to help the victim cope with the immediate trauma. Children often report of feeling violated, experience flashbacks later of the event, experience shock, feel confused, avoid social contact, and experience feelings of shame & of guilt. It is also common for young children to blame themselves for the event. This can give birth to self-hatred and damaged self-esteem. If the child is not helped professionally to deal with the trauma in childhood, it can lead to intimacy issues and trust issues in the future. 

 CSA Victims Could Suffer From

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
• Substance Abuse & Addiction
• Eating Disorders
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Personality Disorders
• Schizophrenia
• Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

The introduction of sex to a child before they reach sexual maturity can distort the child’s understanding of sex. If the child is very young, they are likely to take the act as a normal part of childhood. Later in life, these children often exhibit inappropriate sexual behaviours, often in the form of compulsive sexual behaviour. Many of them face sensitivity issues and may even show little concern for their partners’ wants and needs. They may even find it difficult to differentiate between sex and sexual violence and may assume that sexual violence is a normal part of the act.

Social support in many victims of CSA is minimal as the perpetrator is often a family member and is known to the parents.

Parents often tend to suppress what has happened, turn a deaf year to the incident/s and sometimes even blame the child in view of the shame and stigma associated with the act.

Signs A Parent Or Caregiver Should Look For In A Child

• Becomes withdrawn
• Gets easily irritated and aggressive 
• Shows little care for others feelings or show emotions
• Starts to experience disruptions in their sleep (including, frequent nightmares, recurrent upsetting dreams and bed wetting)
• Shows disinterest in doing things which they use to find interesting (Like going out to the park to play, playing with toys, going out with their parents, watching movies)
• Loses interest in academics and their academic results take a nose dive
• Becomes easily enraged and inflicts self-harm
• Avoids interaction with specific family members
• Shows signs of obsession with hygiene & cleanliness. No matter how often they have a bath, they tell you that they feel dirty.
• Speaks often about disliking their physical appearance

How Is Child Sexual Abuse Different For Boys?

In India, unreported cases of male child sexual abuse are likely to be significantly higher than that of females. Most of the incidents are likely to be squashed or discounted by the boy’s parents. It would be seen as an unfortunate event and the boy is likely to be encouraged to forget about it as a bad dream!

If the incident were to happen closer to the child reaching his teens, he is likely to feel ashamed at his helplessness during the event as he is likely to have a better understanding of the event.

It is at times a case of a prank or ragging which takes an ugly turn and results in abuse.  As mostly boys tend to be abused by other boys or by men, this can also lead to confusion of sexual identity for the victim. The CSA victim may doubt if he is homosexual or not. 

Tips For Parents & Caregivers

1.Trust your child – Keep an open mind and always encourage your children to speak with you about all matters. Assure children that you will never get angry with them for telling you something of this nature. Give them your undivided attention and listen carefully when they speak with you. No matter how bizarre it may sound to you, trust that your child is speaking the truth and take all necessary action to support them. If the child has been a victim of CSA, then they will need your love and support the most now more than ever.

2. Don’t blame your child, scold them, or try to normalize the situation – This is a grave mistake many parents make. Victims of CSA often think that they have done something wrong or that they deserve what is being done to them. If parents blame the child or normalize the event it can further reinforce these thoughts and beliefs in a child. 

3. Don’t trust others blindly with your child – Always stay vigilant. Ensure that all members in your family hug your child only in your presence. Your child should not be allowed to be in close proximity with other family members (apart from an immediate family member) alone.

4. No One Is Too Young or Too Old To Be A Perpetrator – Many parents feel that a family member (cousin or friend of the child) is only a few years older than the child and that their child is in safe hands when they are playing together. Others think that a person old enough to be a grandparent of the child is a “safe” person for the child to be around. This is often far from the truth. Parents should NEVER leave young children unsupervised. Every parent is responsible for their child’s safety and welfare. Blind faith on family members and friends at times results in carelessness on the parents’ part and they risk their child’s present and future from being tarnished.

5. Good Touch Bad Touch – Educate Them – Children should be educated about appropriate and inappropriate touching as early as possible. They should be encouraged to inform the parents immediately if someone tries to touch them inappropriately. Children should be taught to be fearless about such things and to speak about such events immediately.

6. Educate children about inappropriate games and about keeping secrets – Many pAedophiles make games up to attract children. They take advantage of a child’s inquisitive nature. They then tell the child to keep the event a secret. Children need to be made aware that no games should involve getting undressed and or touching of private parts. They should inform parents immediately if someone tries to play such games with them

We need to take steps to protect our children. Never think that something like this can never happen to your child or that your home is the safest place for your child. Unfortunately, most cases take place within familiar walls of a child’s home. Be aware and take precautions.