Back in 2012, I was on top of the world. My first pregnancy was the most enjoyable experience. As a first time mom I read every pregnancy/parenting book from cover to cover. I knew all about linea negras, colostrum, epidurals, yes everything.
And then one beautiful March morning, my baby came. There were the few customary tears in the delivery room and skin to skin contact, but the expected surge of maternal feelings was missing. Here he was, lying in my arms, perfect. I had written notes to him, made a book for him, and pictured all the fun things ma and baby would do together. But somehow here he was and I didn’t want to do anything.
Going through pregnancy and labour in the US means either set of grandparents visit for a couple of weeks to help take care of the baby and to ease the new parents into a routine. Mine came too and I was more than glad to let them take care of him the whole time. I only fed him when he needed me to and left the bathing, burping, changing, cuddling to them. And they gladly took it.
Me? I would burst into tears at every opportunity, whine that no one visiting ever enquired about me, feel jealous of my son’s bond with his father, pick a fight at every opportunity with my husband and parents, and complain endlessly about breastfeeding and sleepless nights. At my six week visit, my OBGYN asked me if how I was feeling and I cheerfully replied that everything was super! My husband (thankfully!) disagreed and told her about my mood swings, irritability, and all around negativity.
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She wondered aloud about postpartum depression and I vaguely remember reading about it and was sure it would never happen to me. It would take me a year to admit I had mild symptoms.
It would take a steady stream of friends to keep me company, a project that I worked on from home, exercise, long walks with my dog, healthy conversations with my husband, and so much more to pull me out of the fog.
Postpartum depression has always been in the news what with celebrities admitting to it. Recently television star Hayden Panettiere checked into rehab for PPD. In the past, Brooke Shields admitted to it and even wrote a book about her struggles. Celebrities like Alanis Morissette, Drew Barrymore, Courtney Cox, and so many more have spoken openly about PPD. In India, PPD is swept under the rug and not spoken about openly. The first step is to be aware.
Statistics and Symptoms of Postpartum Depression:
1. PPD affects one in every five mothers in India.
2. While women may experience mild symptoms of anxiety and irritability after their baby is born because of hormone imbalance, PPD should be suspected when symptoms become severe and last for over the first few weeks.
3. Symptoms of PPD include
- Feeling down and anxious
- Difficulty bonding with baby
- Exhaustion
- Low or loss of appetite
- Feelings of guilt and negative thoughts
- Irritation and mood swings
- Decreased sex drive
- Sleeplessness
- Thoughts of suicide or harming baby
- Problems with memory
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Places to Get Help From In India:
- Ask your partner to watch for the signs. Often times new moms get into superwomen mode and deny or don’t see the signs themselves.
- Speak to your OBGYN immediately. They will be able to suggest places you can get help from.
- Contact NGOs like Postpartum Support International
– The National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (NIMHANS), Bangalore
– Bangalore Birth Network , [email protected] - Birth India can help you get in touch with PPD counsellors in major cities.
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Janani S Koushik
Vaishnavi Venkatraman
Neha Savla
Tanya Lemos
