All parents dream of raising a healthy, smart, and happy child. Usually, mums and dads rely only on their intuition, although today there is a lot of research on the development of children.
To help you navigate this journey, these are my 15 parenting tips to help you think more about parenting.
1. Learn to understand the child from the first months of his life
Understanding the personality of a child should begin from the moment he takes the first breath. Be constantly aware of what your child is thinking. Both literally and figuratively. Squat down so your eyes are at eye level with your baby and see the world the way he does.
If your baby is constantly crying in an unfamiliar environment, then you, as an understanding parent, will hear him say to you: “It’s already a bit too much for me. Let’s not do it all at once. ” Or: “Maybe you can show me this in a month or two?” The ability to understand allows you to tune in to the same wavelength, get to know your child, and learn to trust your instincts in dealing with him.
No reason can justify you ignoring your child. Our kids need us to be with them so that we are wise and strong so that we can come to their aid. We are the best teachers for them, and in the first three years of their life, we ​​are the only ones. We must be patient and understanding parents so that our children can develop their best qualities.
2. Talk to your baby
Telling your baby what is happening and what he is experiencing is not only showing respect for him but also helping to get to know himself and the world.
Try to always tell your child about what will happen. If you are going to pick him up, let him know: “I will pick you up now so we can change your diaper.” Then wait for his “answer” and slowly do what you intended. The child will have time to relax because he knows there will be no surprises.
Tell them what you see or what you and your child will do:
- “You are rubbing your eyes. You seem tired ”
- “Now I’m putting soap on the shelf”
- “Let’s zip up your pyjamas.”
Be honest with your child about how you feel. This will reduce stress and will create a foundation for open communication for life:-
- “I’m tired. It’s three o’clock in the afternoon and I want to sleep. I don’t know what you want ”; “
- You are crying and crying, and I don’t know what to do”
- “I can sit here all day and just look at you. I love you”.
3. Observe what the child is looking at, what he says and what he does
It might make sense to keep a diary. Take regular time to monitor your baby. Sit comfortably nearby so you can see and hear him and the other children he plays with. Take notes of what you see: Over time, you will have an interesting collection of records of child behaviour at different ages.
Also, it will help you notice the new behaviour. Try to interpret the child’s behaviour. If you notice that he has a new hobby, think about what to offer him to support and increase interest. As they get older, the child’s preferences, interests, and abilities change in unpredictable ways. Every time you observe him, try to forget about how he used to behave and focus on what is happening now. Pay attention to which toys he chooses. How does he use them? Does he prefer to play alone or with other children? Do you notice over time characteristic features in his behaviour?
Observe how your child moves around the house: calmly and neatly or noisy and knocking everything in its path? Is there a room in the house that he especially likes? What attracts him there? Pay attention to which food the child likes best.
While observing, try not to interfere with the child’s activities. The goal is to understand what he is doing, not to correct him.
4. Teach your kid to keep things in order
Keeping order is a key element in teaching your child everyday skills. Teaching a child that every item has a place to return to after use will help them develop a sense of order. The house quickly becomes cluttered and chaotic if things are left scattered rather than put in place. Children are real masters when you need to put the “whole house upside down”, and most find it difficult to clean up after themselves. An effective approach, in this case, is to teach your child to clean up immediately when he moves from one activity to another.
Some children have a natural sense of order, but one can be taught to work and play accurately without limiting their creativity or taking away the fun of playing. The main thing is to establish a basic rule and gently but persistently teach the child that he can take any toy from the shelf and play with it as much as he wants, but then he must put it in place before taking a new one.
5. Read books aloud
Reading from the first day of life develops literacy and love of books long before the baby can read himself. How much a parent reads to a child in the first years of life has a significant impact on his readiness for school and a certain life trajectory.
The value of reading has been known for a long time. In 2014, the American Academy of Paediatrics issued a new recommendation that all parents should read books to children from birth.
Research shows that children who read in their early years have more vocabulary and better math skills in elementary school. There is also evidence that parents who read with enthusiasm increase their child’s desire to learn to read, and that he reads more and more afterwards.
6. Treat your child’s feelings with understanding, help him sort out his emotions, and teach him how to deal with them
Parents who practice this attitude may suddenly realize that as families become more familiar with the method of emotional education, their children begin to behave better. This happens for several reasons.
- Parents using emotional parenting always respond to their children’s emotions before they become too intense. In other words, emotions do not have time to gain a degree, as the child receives the attention that he is seeking. Over time, children begin to feel confident that their parents understand them, empathize with them, and are interested in everything that happens in their lives. Children don’t have to be capricious just to feel the involvement of their parents.
- If parents engage in emotional education from an early age, their children learn to remain calm under stress, which in turn reduces the likelihood of bad behaviour.
- Parents who are involved in emotional education do not judge their children for showing emotions. In other words, children are not scolded for crying out of frustration or for expressing anger. However, parents set boundaries and explain clearly and consistently what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. When children know the rules and understand the consequences of breaking them, they are more likely to behave.
- This kind of parenting style strengthens the emotional bond between parents and children, so children become more sensitive to their parents’ requests. They see their parents as their confidants and allies and want to please, not disappoint them.
7. Restrict access to TV
If children watch TV uncontrollably, several problems can arise. It is alarming that watching TV has an almost hypnotic effect. Many parents say that young children can sit in front of the TV for hours. They stare at the screen for a long time, practically in a trance. Watching TV is passive at best. No thought, imagination or effort needed. Quality programs for children are sometimes very interesting, but in general, they are far from ideal.
It is best if your TV viewing is moderate and planned.
- Children don’t need it to entertain themselves.
- Establish reasonable rules.
- Decide what programs you allow
- What is the duration a day your child can spend in front of the TV.
- Give your child a choice: “You can choose from these programmes yourself. But no more than once a day. What do you want to see today? “
8. Make sure your child gets enough sleep
The fact that in our time schoolchildren sleep an hour less at night than their peers thirty years ago has gone almost unnoticed. Sleep is essential for more than just a child’s emotional stability and good academic performance. It is directly related to several problems that have not previously been associated with it, such as the increased incidence of childhood obesity and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Some scientists believe that a lack of sleep during the growth and formation of the body can lead to irreparable changes in the structure of the brain, which cannot be eliminated by additional hours of sleep.
9. Praise your work, not your mind
Try to praise children not for their intelligence, but for the fact that they did a good job and put in a lot of effort. Experiments have shown that children who are praised for their intellectual ability are more afraid of shame, so they avoid difficult tasks. And when they fail to cope with something, they are filled with feelings of anxiety and self-doubt.
With each test, the results of such children, in contrast to those who are praised for their work, get worse and worse. Having matured, they are so afraid of failure that they do not complete a single case, cannot decide on a profession, lose motivation, and do not even try to succeed.
10. Scold for specific actions, not personal qualities
If you scold your child for being lazy, and not because he is not trying enough today, he will be sure not only that he is lazy, but also that his failures are due to constant and irreparable factors.
Whatever the circumstances, you should always criticize optimistically. Scolding the child with the subtext of permanent and universal reasons, parents accustom him to a pessimistic worldview. If they mention fixable and specific factors, the child learns an optimistic style of thinking.
11. Do not try to keep your child busy if he is bored
If your child gets bored, then it’s time for him to change direction. It is important to teach children to think and not be afraid to be alone with their thoughts. When a child is bored, first of all, he will start thinking: “So what now?” Oddly enough, it is this thought that can be considered a source of true inspiration.
The ability to fantasize is inherent in us from birth. When a child tries to invent something new, he turns on a certain part of the brain and awakens this ability. This is how his creative thinking develops. He learns to generate non-standard ideas that will make him an interesting, original person. So the next time your child complains of boredom, try to resist the temptation to solve the problem and keep them busy. Help your little one find a solution on their own. For example, ask him to finish the phrase “I can ________” five times.
12. Let children play
Free play is a natural way to teach a child to control a situation, to show him that he is not helpless. In games, children learn on their own, without adults, to make decisions, fix problems, follow the rules. They also learn to communicate with people on an equal footing, and not only to be obedient or disobedient subordinates.
Children don’t need more education. They need to be free. They also need the ability to safely play and explore the world around them. They must have access to tools, ideas, and people (including playmates) to help them choose their path.
13. Don’t pressure introverts
For a child who is an introvert, being in the classroom can be painful. Noise from all directions, visual stimuli, strangers to communicate with. But most importantly, there is neither a suitable place nor time at school to be alone and “recharge the batteries.” Such children are forced to constantly be in uncomfortable conditions – they have to give answers on the blackboard, cope with a large amount of information, endure if they are interrupted, quickly switch from one topic to another, and work in a group.
Feeling the pressure, the introvert is lost, and the teacher perceives this as a lack of interest in the subject. Remember, introverts may take longer to master the material than others. Talk to your child, explain to him why this happens. Convince him not to get upset if something doesn’t work out.
14. Help your child develop willpower
How to instil in a child the ability to resist temptation? Teach him to think about what reward he will receive in the future, and not about what he is deprived of at the moment. For example, if a first grader is bored with doing homework, it is worth reminding him that, firstly, he will be proud of himself after completing all the tasks, and secondly, he will be able to play with other children in the yard with a clear conscience. In a curious experiment, children were asked to eat the one treat right now, or wait for a little and get two treats. Not everyone was able to show willpower. But those children who were persuaded to think more about the pleasant outcome and less to focus on their immediate desires, withstood the wait much more often.
15. Enter into negotiations
“Parents who negotiate with their teens know more about their children’s lives than others. “Parents who set rules that are too strict force children to bypass and break them.”
If the child usually has to go to bed at eleven in the evening but explains that he wants to go to some event, the parents should find a middle ground and accept it. This approach helps children not to lie and respect the rules. This kind of collaboration helps to maintain the parents’ natural authority.
KSP Team
Rati Ramadas Girish
Neha Savla
Kanishka Pariani
Parul Gupta
