One of the most debated topics and one that is discussed at length is if you should go ahead and have a second child! To each their own, agreed and some of the common reasons we attribute are the lack of time and resources and if we have it in us to do it all over again. But will my first child adapt to this change, is a deep thought that tuns through every mom's mind. And luckily, in my case, I would say my elder kid, proved to be a source of positivity my life, proving me right with my decision to go ahead.
Here is what I observed in my little girl when I had my second one. I am sure, parents of two kids will agree with me on this.
1. You would be surprised by their maturity:
The maturity she displayed from the day I broke the news of the arrival of the little one, is honestly, far from what I expected. From reading the baby development on the various parenting apps to taking care of me during my tough days during the pregnancy, to eagerly waiting to play with her sibling, I must confess it was a busy and exciting 9-month wait for her too!
2. It helps to keep them prepared:
As a parent, I firmly believe in talking to the kids about things happening around them prepares them to adapt better. I used to spend a lot of my time with her explaining all about the days that lay ahead of us, how the li'l munchkin would bring in a lot of joy and also recounted on my experiences on growing up with a sibling, how the attention is divided (or not!), etc. That, I observed, helped her adjust to the new baby very quickly.
3. Let's admit it- we need their help!
You can never be too prepared, especially during pregnancy! Amidst all the chaos of running around and managing a newborn, my elder daughter would calmly observe the madness and spontaneously offer to help, in any little way that she could. "Call me if you need any help, ma", she would say every night before hitting the bed. How innocent!
From scouring through the doc's booklets to apps, she would often dole out advice like a junior paediatrician, every time the li'll one cried. I must confess, those moments left me teary-eyes and motivated to raise the second one as responsible as this shining example!
4. When the going gets tough, they know how to react:
The same child with whom I would spend all day, prepping for school, finishing the homework or preparing for exams now got just a few hours with me amidst all the newborn cries. To be frank, it's a lot of change for the little one. But I am amazed at how my daughter put my parents at ease when they chipped in to help her during exams or for school. Where did all those tantrums from before disappear, I used to wonder!
It's been a few months since the second one arrived and I am a li'l past those crazy all-nighters, but as a SAHM, I must confess all this has been possible and smooth, only with the help of my elder one. Instead of turning her away from the baby, I sought to her help to make things less crazy for me and for them to bond better. That's something they will need in the long run!
If you are a parent, undecided about going in for the second, here's my take- the support and love of the elder one, makes it all the more adorable. Go for it!