Dared To Do The Motherhood Dare Yet? Here Is Why You Probably Shouldn’t

Gopika Kapoor, the author of well known books like Spiritual Parenting: Wisdom (and Wit) for Raising your Child in a Stress-free and Spiritual Environment, asks all the mommies to spend their time doing activities that they enjoy rather their following certain norms that restrict them to do so.

I got tagged to do the motherhood dare recently.

You know, this self-glorifying contest on a social network where you post perfect pictures of you with your offspring and everyone makes comments like, “Awww you are so beautiful!â€_x009d_ etc, etc.
Once I got the nomination for the dare (one mom nominates others) I was in two minds about whether to accept it or not. For one, I’m not comfortable posting pictures of my children on social media; it’s too risky and there are too many evil people out there who can take advantage of this. But more than that, what was the idea behind it? What does a motherhood dare really mean?
Does it mean that you have dared to be a mom? Does it mean you dare to share your most personal and private feelings with strangers by putting up pictures of your children online? Does it mean that only when you share this, are your feelings of motherhood and what it means to you, validated?
I looked at the concept and then at the two words separately. Motherhood is what it is – the experience of becoming and being a mother. And yet, this one word is loaded with so much meaning, such intense feelings and love beyond what anyone can imagine, that to reduce it to just a word is to not do it justice. For me, motherhood is a lifelong state that despite the trials and tribulations it brings (and there are many!), enriches a woman’s life in unimaginable ways.
Then there’s dare. When I think of the word ‘dare’, it conjures up images of things I’m not supposed to have done like burst the stink bomb in the 7th standard, bunk the economics lecture in college, or sneak into the house at 6am, just as my mom was getting ready for her walk. Dare is wicked, dare is wrong but exciting, dare is sexy, dare is truth or dare, and spin the bottle. What do any of these have to do with being a mom?
So ultimately, the motherhood dare is an admittedly fun way of showing off your beautiful kids, getting lots of “Awwwsâ€_x009d_ and likes, and endorsing your own opinion of yourself as a good mother. But let me ask you this? Why do you need external validation? Why do a 100 likes do the job of telling you that you’ve won the motherhood prize? Isn’t the best judge of that the apple of your eye, the reason you’re called “momâ€_x009d_?
Let me give you a dare: dare to reflect, and know that you are a good mother. Know this from within, without anyone or anything to validate it for you. Be the best mom you can be to your child, and the best person you can be for yourself. Keep learning from your kids. Dare to admit to them when you’re wrong. Dare to dance in the rain with them. Dare to know when to step in, but more importantly, when to back off. Now that’s a motherhood dare worth taking!

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