There was excitement when I tested positive when I peed on the stick. But as the news sunk in, I wondered, what kind of parent would I be?
Raising tiny, demanding people is a monumental amount of work, and trying to be calm when you’re running on three hours’ sleep and your baby will only nap on your body, or when your toddler has a meltdown, can feel hopelessly overwhelming—no matter how adorable they are.
The key to raising children, especially in today’s world is conscious parenting. We need to be mindful of the way we react to our children. We need to learn to not react from our ego, but to make sure we are calmer. One common mistake parents make is compare their kids to others. We, unknowingly fall into the rut. We compare, and that is where unhealthy competition is born.
Here are some negative effects of comparing your child:
Stress: The child feels burdened if he is constantly being compared. Your job is not to pressurize because that will make them anxious. Sit and talk to your child, if there is something bothering him, which is affecting his performance. Devise solutions together.
Lowers self esteem: The kid starts believing that others are better than him and that he is incapable of performing well or living to the expectations of the parents. This feeling is very damaging for the personal and academic growth of the child
Lowers self-worth: Despite his efforts, if he still gets to hear that he needs to follow the other child to perform well, this breaks his confidence.
Shy away from social situations: If your kid is consistently ridiculed or taunted by comparison then he will start avoiding public interaction with you
Builds a carefree attitude: If the child’s talents or achievements are constantly ignored, then he may not even bother to please you anymore.
Distances from you: Clearly, if the kid is being held negatively up against his siblings, cousins, friends or neighbors. This may make your kid feel insecure and lose trust in you. Which may lead to developmental or behavioral problems as your child maturesï»¿
Fosters sibling rivalry: When you compare, rather than praise the other child to your child, your child may secretly start loathing his sibling. This may get them to behave more aggressively and end up in physical violence.
Yes, it is important to instill competition. But there are better ways to do it. Don’t you agree?