How are you feeling today?
When was the last time anyone asked you this question? When was the last time you asked yourself this question, Mumma? What is it to feel again, you may ask.
Cleaning, cooking, baby-caring, and waking up each day to be the pillar to everyone around you and not to forget that there is so much work always undone, where is the time to feel really? We all hear that faint voice that cries out in despair, every time you flush her out in the vortex of all your thoughts and emotions.
Anyone who says that he/she has never seen a superstar would have never had the privilege to watch a stay-at-home mum at work. (I will deal with all of you who ask a mum – oh so you don’t work, later. That is a separate letter altogether, let’s not even get there now)
When a mom is busy at work, no one knocks on the door before they walk in to interrupt, desperate calls for emergency meetings with partners are usually looked upon as a big joke, there is no placard that says “the awesome employee of the week”, there are no yearly conferences at some posh 5-star hotels at exotic locales to celebrate the success of one year of hard work, there are no vacations, no holidays, no bonuses, no sick leave and not even a paycheck!
You however cook, speak on the phone to your friend who is a new mamma and assure her green potty is really ok*, dry tears over the phone, kiss your child’s fears away, and also simultaneously jot down a hundred things to do on your computer mind – all at once. You plan birthday parties like you have been an event planner all your life. You will fight to be a crafty mom for your child’s first fancy dress competition even though words like felt paper and Fevicol MR are giving you painful flashbacks because honestly arts and craft classes were your childhood nightmares.
You Google, beg, cry, steal recipes and go every step of the way just because you “want” to bake your child’s birthday cake and you do it like a professional baker. You always have the right shirts ready for your husband’s big meeting, always remembers to set that extra plate for your child’s pretend friend, always remembers birthdays and anniversaries and always remembers to refill Nutella jars and green apples for your children. You are there everywhere, doing everything. You create and love and hug and assure and confirm and just about pull everything together like magic. The irony of it all is you still believe that you’re just about OK, just a mediocre mom.
So today, dear stay-at-home mum at work,
I want to reach out to you, across all the miles, and send out a lot of love that I feel like sharing with you today, because dear amma, you are the superwoman, the only beautiful superwoman, the world knows but mostly forgets to acknowledge.
You are the most gorgeous, powerful, passionate, brave, generous, smart, confident, the person I know. You also sometimes help your sister from the mom-tribe who is at work in an office today, for you can spend that extra 10 minutes with the children at school when you go to pick your child and carefully take home the sticks and stones that not only your child picked up at school but also his best friend’s treasures too.
YOU are a multi-tasker, you love like no other, you give like none other, you are raising the most beautiful person on earth who might just about teach two more people to love fiercely and fearlessly as you do. And love, my dear friend, is what makes this world go round, today and every day! Your family and children look to you when their ground gets shaky, you give them the faith and hope, you give them everything but make them believe that the power is with them, but mumma, you are that power. We all know it don’t we?
For all the times you brushed your child’s teeth and tucked them to bed, for all the times you had to read the same story of the mouse who was scared of monsters, for all the times you held them close and kissed their head, for all the times, you put your child and family ahead instead of yourself, remember – there is no like you. You don’t know me -but I love you, I think a lot about you, I also sometimes worry about you.
Please don’t let anyone tell you that you are just mediocre. There may be so many times when you believe you have failed and many more times when people around you (by simply rolling their eyes and sighing loudly) tell you that you have failed, but that doesn’t change a thing they don’t mean a thing! All that sighing and rolling of the eyes can never change the way your child looks at you; in those little precious eyes, you are always Amma – the greatest!
Stand up tall, treat yourself to an ice cream today, feel the winds, watch the stars, look in the mirror and say hello to that beautiful beautiful woman staring at you, sit down, read a book, call a friend, hear the birds, do nothing, relax –just today, just for me.
You are the best thing that has ever happened, well, at least after chocolate ice-creams. You are magic and kindness and love itself!
Just another mediocre stay at home mum – always at work!