A few years after we got married, my husband and I Â decided that it was the right time to start a family. So I went off the pill and in a month I was pregnant with my first child. However, when we started trying for another baby, things didn’t go as planned. Months later I was still unable to conceive. Now I was worried. It seemed like everyone around me was well on their way to having a second child and for some reason, it just wasn’t happening for me. I was constantly comparing myself to others and losing my mind wondering why I was unable to get pregnant.
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So I went in search of a gynaecologist who could help me out. She did a couple of tests and turned out everything was fine with my husband and me. This is an exciting and terrifying phase and she had a few words of wisdom that she shared with me. She understood the frustration I was dealing with.
Here is how you can be less anxious and impatient while trying for a baby
Take Control
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Read up on ovulation and conception. Know everything there is about your menstrual cycle and your fertile days. This will help you have some kind of control over the conception process. Make the necessary lifestyle changes to increase your chances of conceiving. Knowledge is a weapon that should be used carefully though. Don’t obsess about it so much that it takes over your life.
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Spontaneity
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Yes, you know all about the right time and your fertile dates. You have your basal thermometer and everything else the Internet has recommended. But nothing can be better than some spontaneous action. Let the sparks and intimacy surface from time to time and let yourself go. Sex should not become a regimented affair based on the dates and time of your fertility. Try anything you can think of that’s appealing, fun and new. The key is to avoid a tense, do-or-die atmosphere.
Learn Patience
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Even the healthiest couples take time to get pregnant. If you obsess about it, it’s going to drive you crazy. I know easier said than done. But you have to learn to be patient. If you are, however, over 35 years and have been trying to conceive for over 6 months, then it’s time you headed to a doctor to make sure everything is on track.
Find Support
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This will be a trying time especially since you will be feeling quite desperate and frustrated. Find someone you can talk to and share your feelings. Don’t exclude your spouse from all of this. It was your decision together to have a child so it bothers him too. If you’re not comfortable talking to someone close to you, there are a number of support groups now where women are dealing with the same things you are. Listening to them may help you put your life into perspective.
Add Exercise To Your Routine
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Exercising is a great stress buster. When you exercise you release endorphins which make you feel happy. It may not increase your fertility odds but you’ll feel fitter and better about your body and yourself.
Stay Positive
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If you’re finding it difficult to stay positive during this entire process, place notes around you in places where you can look at them. Something maybe stuck on the bathroom mirror saying “We’re going to be wonderful” parents and another note stuck behind your mobile saying “I’m a healthy woman”. You need to keep your spirits up during this preconception phase.
Stay Time Off For Yourself
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This can be a very trying time and the pressure you feel can be overwhelming. But don’t let that get to you. Find time to do things you like – go for a holiday, go back to painting, go get your hair and nails done or just sit down with a good book and a hot cup of coffee and unwind. Do things that your spouse and you have enjoyed doing together in the past. It will strengthen the bond between you and your spouse during this stressful time.
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Janani S Koushik
KSP Team
Kanishka Pariani
Mansi Zaveri
Rati Ramadas Girish
Neha Savla
