When a school gives homework or assignments or even projects, it hardly caters ONLY to that child. Homework has now become the fundamental property of the entire family, that works towards it. When it comes to homework, parents often find themselves in a delicate balance between helping their child and fostering independence.
Is this a reflection of changing times or as parents are we involving ourselves too much with our children’s school tasks? Let’s take it up at each stage in a child’s life.
At The Pre-School & Elementary School Level:
This is a no-brainer. For young kids starting out at the preschool, parental involvement is crucial and necessary even. Your school’s teachers are still “new people” to your child and n one knows or understands what kind of learner your child is, better than you.
So right from holding their pencil while they trace the L and Ts, to helping them match the capital A with the small letter a, parents are going to fully involved in their little one’s assignments and homework. Fully, but not completely. Which means if you have told them to colour the apples red and the sun yellow, you can step aside while they finish the drawing and not have them turn around and look at you at every stage.
Common Mistakes By Parents At This Stage:
1. Yes, do sit with the child. Help reinforce what is taught by the teacher so the child remembers them better when it is fresh in their mind. But do not teach the new things that aren’t taught yet. No, your child won’t be “ahead of their class” if they learn the M and W before the others in the class! It might in fact end up confusing the young minds. Make sure your teaching is aligned to the teacher’s curriculum.
2. Sit with them when they do their homework. But if it is something that you have taught them- say tracing letter C for a full page, you can sit till they finish the first two rows. The remaining let them learn to do without you sitting beside them. Be in the vicinity but not right beside them.
3. Remember, you are your child’s comfort factor. But if they constantly cry or get it wrong when you step away from them, don’t give up. Comfort them. But make the separation more gradual and easy on the child. You can still be in their sight, just not hand holding them throughout.
4. Do not, and I reiterate, do not complete your child’s assignments. It’s okay if their H is tilted and the “cat” isn’t touching the red line. The teacher would guide them on how to get it right over a period of time. But in your desperation , do not grab te pencil from the child and complete their homework. Sets a wrong precedence, plus, yes, the teacher always knows!
At The Middle School Level
This is where the weaning process starts. Yes, you need to be aware of what your child is currently learning and the topics covered in class. Middle school students can generally manage their homework with minimal supervision, though parents might still need to check in to ensure that assignments are being completed. A reminder role is all that parents will have to play.
Common Mistakes By Parents At This Stage:
1. It could be because of other work pressures or the challenges of raising tweens and teens or the overwhelm of the children’s academic discussion- it is common for parents to step back completely. One common observation is handing over your mobile to the child so he/she can discuss the homework with the other child and then work on it. Not only will this make your child heavily reliant on others, but they will also lack the essential responsibility and accountability skills. Be aware of their conversations with their friends regarding studies, but just as an outsider.
2. Don’t be the helicopter parent your child will run away from. Atleast not for studies and homework. As the kids enter the pre-adolescent stage, the need to challenge authority would be very frequent. Step back like mentioned in point 1, but to an extent where you are aware of what they need to do and complete. Let the execution be your child’s. Completely.
3. Don’t be the “SOS WhatsApp” parent! Remember back when we were kids, our parents relied on the “school calendar” as the one source of all teacher-parent communication? Missing notes was our responsibility especially at middle school level, to finish what’s pending with our friends.
4. Again don’t complete your child’s assignments and homework. Especially at this stage where they are fresh to learn new stuff and concepts, do not make the mistake of dummying it down for them.
At The High School Level
In high school, parents should focus on creating a supportive environment rather than directly helping with homework. By this stage, students should take full responsibility for their assignments. Parents can step in when needed, such as discussing difficult topics, guiding research, or helping with time management during busy times.
Common Mistakes By Parents At This Stage:
1. Avoid micromanaging or hovering over their child’s work. Instead, encourage independence by offering resources like a tutor or study group if necessary.
2. Relying too much on tutors or coaching can make a child dependent on external help instead of learning to handle challenges by themselves. Be involved in their activities, cause it serves as a great way to bond with the kids, especially at the teen stage.
3. Not defining the right screen time rules in the house. This will end up in conflicts and breaking the rules that leads to unnecessary tension.
4. Pushing your children to work for long hours without breaks, which can lead to fatigue and reduced productivity.
Take Away Pointers:
1. Stay firm with your rules but don’t make it an experience that children won’t get back to. Remember this is a regular thing that you will face till your child passes out of school. Make it an enjoyable one.
2. When you are teaching them, draw parallels from your life or work or from your childhood. Children already believe that parents are perfect. Show them that it is not always true. Talk to them about your mistakes etc, that makes you more relatable to them.
3. At the end of the day it is not just about homework and those grades. This teaches kids routine, helps them stay organised and works on their focus and productivity- skills that come in handy well into adult life too.
4. Patience. Patience. Patience. Yes, it can get really frustrating especially when you are low in your energy or hunger levels too. Time the homework sessions to when you can be WITH them. And that means no gadgets for you too!
KSP Team
Mansi Zaveri
Rati Ramadas Girish
Kenaa Singh
